mundungus h fletcher

for the fucking love of god everyone has up and fucking died on me, Gus is still asleep and all I have to read is blondie's stupid fucking babbling and he actually seems to DO SHITE with his life, I do absofuckinglutely nothing and it's more interesting than that, here's what I've done

apparently had a grand old fucking st patrick's day but I don't remember a lick of it so it must have been brilliant yeah, talked some shite out with Gus, got so strung out that I still can't fucking sleep, visited McKinnon, missed Fabian, met people about some shite, bought shite, sold shite, played drinking games with Berko cos we've got nothing better to do, looked at Nana's stupid fucking photo albums (SO FIT), thought about writing a letter to dad but I prolly fucking won't, took a bath, that's it I think

I need something to fucking do with my time, any suggestions

Berko got back today and finally made himself real fucking useful cos it seems my Nana has FINALLY fucking died, the dusty old cunt, I don't think mum even knows yet oh man this is going to be the fucking tops

don't know who'd buy her shitey fucking antiques but my new hair (still love you McKinnon you fucking goddess) makes me look all clean and presentable and what fucking have you, so maybe I'll get out of knockturn and set up shop for the little old ladies in diagon alley yeah

I am going to be such a fucking rich man after this, anyone have birthdays coming up cos they are important when they aren't mine or Ted's or Bones's so I will buy you a proper fucking gift yeah, if I like you that is and if you'll fucking appreciate it

TIME TO GO RANSACK, WISH ME LOTS OF FUCKING LUCK (not that I need it, she's pretty fucking dead)

it's my motherfucking birthday, I'm 23 today, fuck yeah

was going to have a party but well







FUCK SHIT ANYHOW


yeah so I'll be sitting in Salty Fish's backyard drinking and smoking the good shite all fucking day long, you lot (you know who you fuckers are) are welcome to drop by, gifts or no, I don't fucking care yeah? well maybe I care a tad, bring alcohol if you have it, or be prepared for a grope if you're a lady/Fabian

happy fucking birthday to me...oh and Bones too (you're still alive man, try to look it yeah? and come over)

things I have learned about Marlene fucking McTits so far:

she has too many fucking rules and talks too much about how they're just so fucking necessary (we will amend that bed rule ha ha oh man will we ever)

her sister is fit (so's her mum)

flat is not clothing optional, hate life

her flatmate is a waifish cunt who embroiders too fucking much, plan on changing that ha ha I should pick up a fucking hobby like embroidery, any takers

large sink...will come in handy

does not tell bedtime stories (SHUT THE FUCK UP DUNG and slamming bedroom door doesn't count)

DESPITE ALL THIS she is a fucking lovely angel and her couch almost rivals Fagian's (hey man I miss you, you should fucking come over) and she has disturbing amounts of alcohol, I could spend my life here

LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS

I've already said it four times and none of you wankers ever listen so I'll say it here and if you don't want to get knifed next time you take a trip to Diagon Alley you may want to read on

IF I CATCH ANY OF YOU TWATS GOING THROUGH MY BAGS
THAT IS THE END OF THE FUCKING PARTY

writing in all capitals is tiring but you get the point, the bags are mine I will share what I want and the more you stay out of them the more I will share

and it'll be a good time







and fuck you Fabian for not having anything worth selling here, why are we even mates

and happy fucking birthday I guess to the ginger too, ditch four-eyes and come up to Fab's room, we'll go on a trip

Fabian is a sleep humper